I’ve re-written this post so many times over the last week, searching for what feels right to say in this moment.
Not overly dramatic, or dismissively light.
So, here goes the truth: I haven’t sent a newsletter in four weeks. Most of February was radio silence on social media. If I’m being really honest and not a touch dramatic… I spent a majority of the last few weeks thinking about all the stuff I needed to do, writing it down, and… staring at it. For those who know me, this is unusual.
Here’s the backstory:
I moved to NYC in January. (I love it so far. Our apartment is cozy, I’m making friends, and it feels like the right place for me, right now.)
But the transition has been hard for a girl who likes routine and fights uncertainty. I also struggle with the same things every human does: attachment to outcomes, self-sabotage, worry, doubt. After a series of weird and disappointing events this winter (read Part 1), I got really down.
In the past, I’ve found four things that greatly help when I’m feeling overwhelm: movement (body), meditation (mind), connection (friends!), and creativity. I’ve been trying to infuse a little of each into my days over the past month. Slowwwly, I’m re-energizing and re-evaluating.
This period of rawness, questioning, and time away has made a few things crystal clear:
- I love Seamly.co so much, and I really missed the feeling of being excited about what’s next. I love creating. I love the challenge. I love the promise.
- I’m not crazy for thinking this businesses could be financially viable… but I AM crazy for thinking that it all should’ve happened yesterday. Expectations and attachments can really kill creativity!
- I have a death-grip on the idea that I need to be working on Seamly.co full time to make this work. In the beginning, I logged SO MANY HOURS and people who love me would casually mention the word, “workaholic.” Now, things are much calmer, especially after I announced that we’ll only be launching one (super badass) piece for 2015.
In the quest to create an awesome business I love AND maintain my sanity, a few things are changing.
- I started working with a designer, also named Kristin, who’s sketching our next versatile piece. She’s been pushing me in wonderful ways, and I feel excited to have her expertise.
- I found a new studio to call home – a bright oasis in the middle-of-nowhere Brooklyn. HELLO, routine.
- I’m picking up part-time projects to help cushion my life here in NYC and lessen the stress on Seamly.co (content creation — written, graphic, and photographic — plus social media consulting). It feels exciting to step out of my world for a bit, and bring perspective to someone else’s big idea. (If you know anyone looking for help in these departments, feel free to send them my email: firstname.lastname@example.org.)
It’s difficult to sum up the extremes of entrepreneurship, although many of you know it well. Seamly.co is sometimes a gift, other times a curse, but ALWAYS a teacher. The lessons are rarely about “business” and usually show me something else entirely — insight into my personality, purpose, perspective.
So, onwards! Huge thanks to all of you who share, purchase, read, and e-mail. You know who you are! I certainly couldn’t do this without you.